Isn’t learning to let go, one of life’s hardest lessons? When something is making me unhappy or making me feel uncomfortable, my natural reaction is to actively make some changes rather than sit with the discomfort. However if you read the post on longing to be a mother again you will understand that there are some situations in life, where things are completely out of our control. Of course we have to learn how to to let go with grace… but how do you even start to do that, and what things can help along the way?
Recently I have been thinking about what happens on my yoga mat. During my practice, I move through lots of postures that bring me physical discomfort. When I am confronted with a difficult bit, or something comes up that makes me feel uncomfortable, there are things I do, or more accurately ‘don’t do’ that can help ease the pain. I’ve been wondering if I can translate those tools that work on my yoga mat into actual life as well.
Through moving, my mind naturally channels into a single focus, so the yoga becomes a moving meditation. This act in itself, I know to be beneficial, but more specifically than that, I focus on my breath, I try to release and soften, and surrender in order to find some peace. Powering through never works, pushing and forcing never works, not listening to where my body naturally wants to guide me never works, so why should it be any different with the uncomfortable situations that we are faced with in life.
“You can choose comfort or you can choose courage. You can’t have both”
If what Brené Brown has said is right and we are to choose courage, there are bound to be lots of situations that arise that will cause discomfort, and things we will have to learn to let go of. Doesn’t it therefore seem wise to have a whole heap of tools that can help you through the difficult bits.
Here are just a few examples of things that you or your friends may have experienced needing to let go of; a difficult situation with a friend or colleague, which you can’t resolve but that constantly bothers you, feeling responsible to help others and their problems, people’s expectations of you, or your expectations of yourself.
These are all instances where letting go with grace would make us all feel better. I realise that is easier said then done, but I think the first step is acknowledging that you need to let go.
It would also help to have faith in our ability to be able to cope with what ever difficulties and problems arise, and a trust that the answer will be somewhere within.
Just as I do on my yoga mat, I need to be better at sitting with the discomfort, and reminding myself that it will pass.
Next time I find myself in an uncomfortable situation I will try to remember the following advice… don’t be led by my first emotional reaction, but observe it and breathe. Take time to process the problem, relax, don’t force anything and surrender a little. Finally and perhaps most importantly to have trust in myself, and a little faith that it will all play out as it should.
I would love to know what works for you. How do you let go with grace? Or is it something like me, that you are still working on?