This last few weeks I have felt that there are a lot of new beginnings just around the corner. Along with the change of the season, September always brings a general ‘back to school’ feeling, plus it’s Bailey’s first day of school ever this week.
Also, the start of the month saw the start of a new moon. I don’t know much about astrology, and I don’t even read my horoscope very often, but more and more I am noticing how the moon effects my mood and emotions. And, whilst there are actually some big changes happening at the moment, I am sure the new moon intensified some of what I, and others (including the four year old) have been feeling.
I know the heaviest of these changes is Bailey starting school. She knows something is about to be different, but until she has actually started, the idea is a bit conceptual for her, and for me too. It’s hard to fast-forward and know precisely how you will feel about an event, even one that has been a long time coming. Actually, I think in some ways, the anticipation and build up makes it worse. All Summer we have talked about school, been to buy the uniform, got new shoes etc… all of these individual things that lead up to this week, just add a bit of pressure.
Bailey is more than ready to go, and is such a sociable little girl that homeschooling her has never felt right for us. She thrives on being around other people, and I am sure she would miss the company of her peers too much.
She has tried on her school uniform a few times, and to see her standing there full of excitement makes me super happy and incredibly sad all in the same heartbeat. Where have the last four years gone? How are we at the ‘waving her off to school’ point already?
I could write a tear stained blog post, full of messy emotions, just focusing on how my baby is not a baby anymore. We are firmly in little girl territory, and I am trying to come to terms with the fact that the baby chapter of our lives has possibly gone forever. Of course letting go of those ‘baby days’ would be so much easier to do, if filling their place was the hope of another baby. However, I am trying very hard not to get lost down that well of sadness, and am grabbing on to any bubbles of excitement that come from the potential and possibilities of having more creative time to myself.
Over the last few years I have often worked late into the night, and at the weekend just to keep on top of work. I am hoping that more time during the day will mean I find a better work / life balance, and it will also mean I finally get to tackle some of those goals I have put on hold.
Hand in hand with this promise of more time, comes the luxury of choice, where do I want to focus that extra time and energy? I realise this is such a fortunate position to be in, but oddly I have spent a large part of the last two weeks feeling angry and frustrated. I guess the anger shouldn’t be so much of a surprise, but the frustration definitely caught me off guard. Just as the moon pushes and pulls the water in the oceans, isn’t it possible that is pushes and pulls things within us too?
This new moon seems to have coincided with me getting a headful of creative ideas, and suddenly there are a lot of different directions to choose from. When I’m sitting on the precipices of several new beginnings like this, I get a bit impatient and want to try to make the changes happen right now. Also when I sense that things are about to alter and shift, I find that my mind suddenly wants to start afresh with other aspects of my life too; things like tackling all the DIY jobs on the house, improving our diet, addressing any unhealthy habits. It’s like I get the urge to do a big ‘spring clean’ of my entire life. It’s easy then for it all to feel a bit overwhelming; what changes are the the important ones, and which ones will have the biggest impact on my happiness and wellbeing?
I am learning that this is the time that it’s really important not to rush and leap into things. This is the time to take a deep breath and wait for things to float to the surface. Where I should focus my energy will become clear, but I will only be able to see it, if there is that space and calm around me.
In light of how I have been feeling, I have been trying to give myself some space. I know with the new moon it’s the perfect time to set intentions, so I spent some of my weekend having a little plan, and thinking about what I would like to achieve with the last quarter of 2016.
As the new beginnings start, and the dust settles, I am hopeful that things will seem clearer, although I have a feeling the whole of September could feel like one big transition.
Do you have little ones starting school this year? How are you handling the change? Also it would be great to discover other blogs that write about how the moon effects us. Would love to hear any recommendations.
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