“What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare?” W. H. Davies
I have been a bit quiet this week and have wanted to completely unplug if I am honest. I don’t know whether it’s the warmer weather or because the summer break is approaching but I am desperately craving a holiday and have a big desire to do some slowing down.
The last year has been a busy one, but I think it has particularly come to a crescendo for me lately. I can feel myself being swept along with life, and something inside is telling me I need to take a pause, and I’m feeling the need to re-evaluate things. On top of this, certain events have left me doing some ‘big thinking’… which in itself is pretty tiring – but essential if I want to live a happy and fulfilled life.
I think our bodies know best, but we are quite good as grown ups at ignoring them. My body has been waving big red flags at me for a while, telling me that something has gone a bit wrong and the balance has tipped the wrong way. It’s only just now that I am paying attention and starting to listen. I have an inkling as to how and why I have got to this point – but that is a topic for another post.
In an attempt to find a better balance I have had to disconnect from most things this week. My time has involved a lot more playing with Bailey, a couple of afternoon snoozes in front of the tennis, and generally moving at a slower pace. That list of things to do hasn’t got any shorter, and I am only here once to say hello to all of you, but that is the best I can currently do and I’m trying to be ok with that.
Now… where from here?
Lots more rest, talking to friends, and something that has always helped me; yoga and meditation. Plus a bit of work organising those ‘big thoughts’ will help too. There’s no point in me doing all this ‘big thinking’ if it doesn’t help shape and direct my future choices. I have some moments of clarity where things seem clear, but then the next day I can feel back at the beginning – confused with a massive mountain of thoughts, ideas, and feelings to wade through. I am learning though to sit with the uncomfortable and difficult patches, and wait them out. I think if we can have a little bit of trust and faith and allow our subconscious and selves a bit of time, then an answer will become apparent.